I wanted to take a second to lay some real relationship advice for new and old relationships, just a few things that I’ve learned over the last few years that really changed my life and relationship.
I’d love to get a conversation started so leave your advice and feedback in the comments and I’ll be sure to answer.
#1. The Real Meaning Of Communication
We hear it all the time ‘communication is key’, but what does it really mean?
Is it asking if our partner is fine all the time, no?
Is it having hour-long conversations, no?
Is it something to do with listening? Not really…
…Then what the heck is it?
It’s about always allowing your partner to speak and asking for the same in return.
It means when you’re having a fight that you listen to each other and don’t just shout till the other is unhearable.
It means not shutting down your partner when they express their feelings.
It means creating an environment where no matter what you can talk, get feedback and share emotions with each other.
#2. Understand Sometimes You’re The Problem
We are all so quick to point the finger at others that we ignore when we are the ones to blame.
Now the blame game is a hard one, why? Because there is a fine line between taking all responsibility and letting people walk over you and being someone who is so blind to their own self that they blame someone else for their life and achievements.
You’ve got to be somewhere in-between them both in a place where you take responsibility while being open to feedback and most importantly being able to ask yourself if you’re wrong.
If you can do this, then you’re ahead of at least 80% of the western world.
#3. If You’re Not Happy Change Something
So many people are sad with the way their relationship is going.
Let’s face it, you wouldn’t be reading this article if you were completely happy with your relationship, so take a second, locate that sadness and ask yourself why you feel it?
Is it because you have all the responsibility? Maybe you do everything to keep your relationship alive? Maybe they constantly make you feel bad?
Find out what it is and then follow tip #1 and communicate it to your partner, it may be hard and awkward to talk to your partner about the way you feel but trust me the minutes of hardness is far easier than the years of sadness.
#4. Don’t Focus On Movie Romance
Life isn’t a 1 hour and 30-minute movie, so why do we treat it like one?
Don’t listen to romance marketing it’s all a load of rubbish to keep couples spending money.
Proposals NEED to be in foreign countries, outside large monuments, because if they’re not you don’t love your girlfriend.
Dates need to be inexpensive restaurants, if not you don’t care enough about your partner.
Seriously I’ve seen perfectly awesome relationships get sad at movie romance and question their partners love due to lack of money spent.
This is silly, love isn’t what you see in a movie, it’s nowhere near as in your face, it’s not as quick and it’s definitely not to do with money.
One perfect night won’t make up for 3 rubbish months.
#5. Abundance Is HOT!
Neediness is NEVER attractive.
Whenever you’re needy about something the chances are you won’t get it.
It’s not the awkward, needy, I hate you talking to anyone that isn’t me person that catches our eye at the bar.
It’s the confident person who’s happy with their life and doesn’t really need us that’s hot as F.
#6. Rushing Love Is Pointless
By 25 I want kids, marriage and the man/woman of my dreams.
There’s so much world to see, experiences to have and people to meet.
Why settle down than younger?
Instead travel, experience and enjoy life as much as possible and when the time is right you’ll know and you can go for it.
once you have kids and get married it’s harder to take the risks that are needed to have an amazing life, so take them risks and settle down when you’re ready, not by an age you or your partners decided was good.
#7. Forgiving Is Forgetting
It’s hard to truly forgive someone, I sometimes think it’s impossible, but it’s not impossible to forget.
If you decide to forgive what it means is you’ll forget what happened, take the lessons you learned and move on.
If you can’t-do that then don’t forgive them.
#8. Practice Seeing Things From Their Point Of View
A powerful tool I learned a few years back was imagining myself as them people in my life and seeing what problems they had.
This has allowed me to stop many fights, know when I’m wrong and build better relationships.
#9. Live For Today
Planning is useful, but there is a time and a place for it.
Once the planning is done it’s time to live for now and not for the weekend, the holiday or the wedding, kids, etc.
If you don’t live for now eventually your life will be gone and you’ll only have a few months of true living instead of a whole lifetime.
#10. Don’t Take All Advice Off The Internet
EVERY single piece of advice you read online is written by someone in a different position to you.
Take what resonates with you, test it out and get rid of anything that doesn’t work for your life and relationship.
Don’t get fixated on one bloggers, YouTubers or TV stars relationships and advice, they show you what they want and tell you what people want to hear, it’s mostly rubbish.
Anyway I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and relationship advice, I’d love to keep the conversation going in the comments below, so give me your feedback, advice, and experiences.