how to be confident

How To Become More Confident

Here’s my guide on how to boost your confidence without any magic powers needed.

#1 – Other People’s Judgment Not Your Problem

We are scared to be ourselves because of the judgment others might give us.

Well, that judgment is their problem, not yours.

So practice not worrying about what others think and instead on how to be yourself.

This lady did a fantastic Ted talk on being yourself and how it’ll change your confidence and make people warm to you much more.

 

#2 – Learn Who You Are

Who you are with friends, is not who you are while you’re alone, chilling out, while playing video games or watching Netflix.

However, that fake persona you put on with strangers and none close friends is actually whats stopping you from connecting with them.

This persona is also the thing to blame when you reach an age and realize you have no true friends, course you don’t because your friends don’t even know the true you.

So, say goodbye to being a people pleaser and instead focus on being exactly who you are.

 

#3 – Avoid A High Stimulant Filled Diet

Coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, candy, soda and any stimulant heavy food is a massive component on why you get anxiety.

I was reading this article on calm clinic about stimulants and the effects on anxiety and it’s really crazy.

If you want to be confident and have far less anxiety then you need to change what your body’s fuel is, the more natural, wholesome food you eat, the more confident and happy you’ll become.

 

#4 – Exercise All The Time

Exercise helps your body release loads of happy and confidence boosting chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone, these are all key when it comes to being the happiest version of yourself.

Exercising also improves the way you look and feel about your body which is a great way to become more happy with your personal image, which is responsible for a lot of anxiety.

 

#5 – Learn How To Breathe

People know algebra, yet they don’t know how to breathe correctly…

…It’s bizarre.

If you feel anxiety then do the following breathing:

  • Inhale for 5 seconds
  • Hold for 3 seconds
  • Exhale for 5 seconds
  • Hold for 3 seconds

If you feel anxiety about a memory past, present or future do a 6-second hold, instead of 5.

Make sure you breathe air into your belly through your nose.

This is a similar technique to what they teach in the army and works extremely well.

 

#6 – Meditate Once Per Day

There’s nothing more powerful than meditation when it comes to being a more confident version of yourself.

Simply taking 5 to 10 minutes each day to sit in silence and try not to think about anything apart from your breath, will train you to shut off that voice that taunts you when you’re not confident and helps you get into the zone.

There are many guides on how to meditate here’s one I recommend:

 

#7 – Face Your Fears

You want to make a habit of finding out what your fears are and then facing them.

They probably won’t get easier, but you’ll build a muscle inside your brain that doesn’t hide from fear, it automatically goes after it.

It’s the reason people only have cold showers, just that little thing, builds mind power that you can go onto use for far bigger tasks.

 

#8 –  Learn What Confidence Is

Confidence isn’t thinking you’re 10 out of 10 when you’re not.

  • It’s not thinking you’re better than everyone else.
  • It’s not being ready to have a fight with anyone who looks at you strangely.

In fact they are the complete opposite of what true confidence is and usually the people who do the above are the most unconfident and insecure people in the room.

My look on confidence is that it’s all about being your true self in front of people and having no one care about the judgment.

  • It’s getting up and having a dance, not even thinking about if people are looking.
  • It’s going up to an attractive person you like and just having a conversation with them.
  • It’s saying a joke that only you think is funny and not caring if anyone laughs.

It’s taking a big risk and being yourself.

That’s what confidence is and anything else around it is just ego.

 

#9 – Practice Going Outside Your Comfort Zone

Just like facing your fears, you should go outside your comfort zone.

Now Tim Ferris does two awesome things:

  • 1. He lives like a very poor man for a few days each month
  • 2. He does 3-day fasts of food.

These two things help to show him what he’s got in life (amongst other benefits with health).

They instantly take you out your comfort zone and while I’m not saying to go as crazy as that, you should do things you’re scared of.

Maybe that’s going to a club on your own or trying the new hot yoga class, whatever it is, find it and face it.

 

#10 – Become Self-Aware When Lacking Confidence

If you become scared, shut down and can’t get the words out, take a second, ask yourself why this is happening.

Find out what you’re really scared of, you’ll usually find out that whatever is making you anxiety filled is not anything to actually worry about.

 

#11 – Have Self Belief 

Not because your mom told you too, but because you believe in yourself.

If you’ve ever wondered how some people treat their bosses like friends, call them out and don’t hesitate to ask for a raise, it’s because they don’t fear the worst case scenario and know that they can pick themselves up from it.

This allows people to be themselves and to ask for what they want without being shut down.

Now, this doesn’t mean you’re special, nope, there’s 8 billion of you on this plant, like an ant thinking they’re special.

However, that’s the point, you’re one out of 8 billion and the only thing that’s really set you apart is the action you take and the self-belief you have.

 

#12 – Leave The Ego At Home

Ego’s can be awesome tools for telling you what you need in life, but they are a tool, use them that way.

People listen and act with their ego’s all day, are like people who try to fix every problem with a hammer.

Hamers are really useful, while trying to hit nails into the wall, but have a PC hardware issues and hammers are as useful as lights without light switches.

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